Fate or Distany

Fate or Destiny

Roheed was standing by the window, next to the door. He was looking out towards the open field at a small boy playing football with his dad when his attention drifted far away to the past. He remembered his father coming to him asking “where were you my son, I missed you”. Roheed remembered his father taking him and his little sister to the neighbouring park to play, on the way back home they heard gun fire and saw a crowd of British soldiers violently attacking and overtaking their lovely peaceful community, including their house.  Looting and helping themselves to all their expensive and valuable house-holds positions. Unexpectedly, Roheed heard his father with a very loud voice screaming and running towards British soldiers saying “Stop you bastards! You are ruining our lives!” Shortly after he witnessed Puja’s mother, their lovely neighbour, losing her senses, as she had been raped by the British soldiers when their entire village was being taken over.  Puja’s mother committed suicide by jumping off the balcony as a result. At that time Puja was only five years old. Soon after the awful and unbearable incident, Puja’s father, Raj, took her to Rajasthan.

While in Rajasthan, Raj became addicted to opium in order to alleviate the psychological trauma he had faced due to the British invasion on their little village. He had become an addict.  He had lost everything, including his pride. The one thing that he still held with him was his wealth.  It was this that brought him a new widowed wife.  Puja’s step mother had two children of her own. This gave Puja a new family.

 At the time Puja was young and no one in the family accepted her as a part of the family, or even talked to her. The only person who looked after her was her nanny “Mother Rani”. Mother Rani had looked after her since the day she was born. Mother Rani always said to Puja, “if your mother was here with us today, seeing you like this in this situation, she would have been very sad.”  Puja’s step family would bully her and picked on her saying, “you are a mad woman’s daughter.  Your mother was mad, she jumped out of the window, and you should too.”  Puja could not understand why they called her mother mad and why they wanted her to jump out of window too. She bravely asked her father but got no answer as he was only interested in drugs and did not care about anyone else in the world.  She then went to Mother Rani and asked her, but she only said: “don't listen to your step brother and sister, they do not know anything.”

Raj had a reasonable amount of inheritance from his father. But due to coming from a huge family, and most of all the cost of drugs, meant there was little to survive on. Raj knew after a short time he would run out of money.  He decided to do some business with a British business man.  However, he found himself tricked by the man.  Raj knew appealing his case to the court, or complaining would be pointless because the Indian government could not do anything as India was under British control.  Due to the loss of huge amounts of money, Raj had to sell their house and move to a slum. Life was getting harder.

After spending four very harsh years with very little money, Puja            turned eighteen. She hoped and prayed for a better life and a better future. She had become a very attractive and beautiful young lady. She had inherited her mother’s beauty, the same green eyes, brown tinted skin, and very shiny long black hair.  Puja’s presence and her resemblance to her mother always reminded her father Raj, of the embarrassment and humiliation of his previous wife’s death.  Raj and his new greedy wife and family came up with the idea  to sell Puja to a rich family or person, so they could get money in return. The following week, one of the family’s friends informed Raj about Mr. Abishik’s interest in having a concubine.  Mr. Abishiks was a very successful and rich business man.  He was the owner of two huge textile mill companies, one in Bombay and the other in Rajasthan.  Raj thought he could get an incredible amount of money from him.  Raj was being greedy, mumbling and talking to himself, “if Puja became Mr. Abishik’s concubine, the family could get weekly or monthly income from Mr. Abishik. We could start a brand new life and maintain our equality with other people”. Without thinking twice or imagining how a young pretty lady like Puja could be someone’s concubine with no future, he sold Puja to Mr. Abishik and signed Puja’s fate.

Before her departure, Puja stayed in her house for one more day to gather her late mother’s photos and mementos to take with her.  Puja also, for the last time, requested from her father to take Mother Rani with her to her new house.  Everybody in the family was happy.  For the first time ever, Puja’s step brother and sister gave her some new clothes to wear.  

The night she was leaving to go to her new home, she looked so beautiful just like her mother.  Raj could not bear to see her, as she always reminded him of his past.  All of the family were happy they were getting rid of Puja and at the same time they were getting money in return.  The only person who was sad was her nanny Mother Rani, she wept and said, “my poor beautiful girl, if your mother was still alive, she would be very sad, and your marriage wouldn’t be like this.” Puja could not sleep that night and saw her dead mother coming to her saying “stop crying my girl, everything will be alright.”

Puja was very angry and sad because there was not an actual marriage ceremony for her wedding.  She had always dreamed of having a huge wedding ceremony filled with hundreds of guests celebrating her special day.  But alas, her dreams were shattered.  In reality, she was just Mr. Abishik’s concubine, not his wife.  Mr. Abishik was already married to someone else, named Ashmita.  Ashmita was from a very rich and well-known family.  Mr. Abishik was scared of his wife Ashmita and her family because they had a very good relationship, and connections with the British government. The only reason they let him have Puja was because his wife could not have children, so Puja was bought as a means of bringing a child into the family.

When Puja came to her new house for the first time she met Mr. Abishik’s wife, Ashmita. She did not look friendly at all.  Puja very carefully showed her respect by greeting her in a very soft voice.  Ashmita did not greet Puja in return.  Instead, she disrespectfully laughed and told Mr .Abishik, “look at your poor little concubine, she is worse than my servant!”  Mr. Abishik forcefully brought out all the happiness he could on his face, “Ashmita, we just need her to give us a son, don’t we?” Then he turned to a servant “Dildar, show Puja her room.”

Puja was very nervous and scared, she took a long deep breath finally I can go to my room she whispered to herself.  Puja’s room was very tiny and was located at the end of the house.  It had a small window and there was a bell near the door; she could only ring the bell to ask the servants for assistance.  Mother Rani was forced to live in the basement where all the other servants in the house lived.

Puja always sat at the corner of the room, beside the window facing towards the garden but she was actually looking at nothing at all.  She sat there all day and night and said nothing to anyone. She never rang the bell even when she required assistance.  Mother Rani was sad and she worried about Puja because of the situation she was in.  Mother Rani used to tell Puja about the things that happened in the house that she witnessed, but Puja was not interested at all.  She also tried to get Puja to go into the garden for a walk and to get some fresh air but Puja always refused.

Mr. Abishik only came to Puja’s room once a week in the evening because Ashmita would not allowed him to see her every day. Puja had been in Mr. Abishiks house for nearly half a year and had faced many problems.  Everyday when Ashmita saw Puja, she shouted at her, “you such a useless sow. look at you, like a ghost!  We need you to give us a child, look at your belly, it has nothing in it!”

Day after day, Puja had to live with the harsh treatment that Ashmita, Mr. Abishik’s wife gave her.  Puja was becoming more and more quiet and withdrawn.  She did not even talk to the servants anymore.  She was living in her own world.  Even Mr. Abishik could not bear Puja’s silence anymore. One night, he told Puja “why don't you say something and give everyone a smile?  What is wrong with you lady?  Say something!”  Puja did not say a word and wept silently.  Mr. Abishik could not take it anymore and called Puja a mad, selfish woman and walked off.

The next morning, Puja saw Ashmita in the corridor and greeted her softly. “Hello” she said.  But Ashmita as usual had a go at Puja for no reason, and also fired Mother Rani, as she thought Mother Rani was the one who was responsible for Puja’s strange behaviour. “No, no” Puja cried. Mother Rani looked at Puja sadly; she wiped her tears and then left saying, “I am just a servant, what could I do to Puja.”  Puja once again felt entirely alone. Nobody cared about her in this house except Mother Rani and she had been thrown out.  The worst part was, there was nothing Puja could do about it.

Puja was sad for months and would cry even though there were no tears left in her eyes.  One day Puja felt dizzy and vomited, and the following day she vomited again. “Congratulations, I think you are pregnant!” Ashmita said cheerfully. From that day onwards Ashmita was nice to Puja, as Puja’s pregnancy meant the family was finally going to have an heir.  Ashmita called Mr. Abishik immediately and told him the good news.  He left work and came home without delay.  He was extremely happy to hear that he was going to have a child.  He gave some money to their servants and told them to take the day off.  Mr. Abishik went to Puja’s room and told Puja softly, “I am glad you’re pregnant.   Make sure you go down in the garden and sunbathe every day, and have a walk after dinner too.  It’s good for both you and the baby.  If you give me a son, I’ll buy you a small house; I know you don’t like to live here with Ashmita and everyone else.”

Puja’s body was getting heavier as the days passed by.  However, she was not used to the positive attention she was receiving from everyone especially Ashmita, although, it was helping her indirectly.  She was suddenly someone, an important person; others needed her and wanted her to be happy and to do well.  All this attention was something that she needed.  She began feeling better and, once again slowly, smiles and happiness came back into her pale face.  However, Puja was still silent most of the time.  But most importantly Puja was not lonely anymore, apart from the immediate attention she was receiving from Mr and Mrs Abishik, she had her unborn child with her.  She started to keep herself busy by making children’s toys and clothing.  She also regularly kept going to garden to get some fresh air and do some exercise.  In a very short period of time Mr. Abishik was aware of her happiness. 

One night Puja remembered her father and asked Mr. Abishik about him the following day. “How is my father?  Have you heard from him?”  Mr. Abishik told Puja that he had heard from his business colleague, that her father’s business had lost a lot of money.  Raj had been going through a period of severe depression and had been relying heavily on opium.  His wife, son and daughter had left him because he had no more money with which to support them anymore.  

After finding out about her father’s situation, Puja was more worried than ever about him. After all he is the only relative that I have left in this world, but there is no way I can help him she thought.  Mr. Abishik saw the anxiety in her face, and tried to comfort Puja by saying, “don’t worry; I will send him some money to support his business, and perhaps he can also buy some more opium.”   “Mr. Abishik you do not know what happened to our family in Bombay, and the pain and suffering my father has had to go through.” she said.  Your money is not a cure for everything Puja thought, but she did not say this to him.

Puja’s nine month pregnancy was almost over and it was nearly time for the baby to be born. Puja was slightly afraid of giving birth to her first child. Mr. Abishik and Ashmita told her not to worry.  “We will send you to the Western Hospital run by the British Government with experienced doctors.  They not only have better doctors but also better facilities; you and your baby will be a lot safer there than the local crowded hospital.” Puja knew they had no idea what British people had done to her and her family.  She was scared and did not want to go to British hospital. However, she knew not all British people were bad.   Well, time will tell she thought.

It was dark and the wind was blowing into every corner.   It was a colder than the usual winter’s night.  Puja was feeling cold and a little uncomfortable.  Could it be the chilling weather, or the unpleasant memories of the past running through her mind?  Whatever it is, she thought, it would fade away as it always does.   But as time passed by, Puja only felt more and more restless.  Every now and then, similar to dog howling in the mountains, she would get a wave of pain that only lasted for a short time.  As the night got darker and the winds stronger, she began drowning in waves of pain, and every now and again it was too agonizing to bear.  I will not survive if this goes on for too long she thought.  Then she heard the door squeak, and a quiet voice calling her name, “are you ok?  We can hear your voice from the other room.”  “No.  I think I am going to have my baby.” Puja replied.  “Try to sleep, it will take some time, as you are having your having first child” said Mr. Abishik.  

The next morning while having breakfast, Puja almost fainted; she was so pale and weak. Mr. Abishik immediately took her to hospital.  The British doctors said that if they had come any later, then Puja might have died.  He had to wait for long time until a doctor came and gave Mr Abishik the good news.  “Congratulations!  Both mother and child are safe and the baby is a boy.”  Mr Abishik was extremely happy, and rushed to the CEO room to see his baby. “He is so handsome, my baby boy!  I’ll devote my whole life to loving and caring for you.”  Puja was very sad  because Mr. Abishik totally forgot about her, and did not even ask if she was ok.

Puja had to stay in the hospital for few more days as she was not feeling well and not strong enough to go home. Mr. Abishik took the baby home a few days after his birth and Ashmita was so happy to see him.  “We have got our son!” she announced cheerfully.

While Puja was still unwell in the hospital, Ashmita and Mr. Abishik named the baby, Rahul.  Ashmita was planning to raise Rahul herself, as her own son, and planned to get rid of Puja once and for all.  Since she could not do it alone, she had to convince her husband. What could be a better reason than to pronounce Puja an unfit mother?  “Puja is mad just like her dead mother and it is better if I raise the baby myself, not Puja.” Ashmita managed to convince Mr. Abishik. Shortly after, when Puja was back home from the hospital, they found a small house for her far away from where they were living.  They also arranged for a wet nurse for Rahul.

”I thought he loved me, or at least that is what he made me believe. How could he be so selfish?” Wept Puja.  “How could he snatch my own child away from me? If it was Ashmita alone then that would have made sense. No, I don’t think even then it would have made sense. They are such heartless people.”  Puja tried to understand what had happened to her. Although, it had only been a few months it felt like years.  She was finding it impossible to live in this isolation, away from everyone, even her own child. She may have been able to live with the isolation and being away from her child but what was making every second of her life painful was the fact that her son would never know who his real mother was.  Ashmita had announced to everyone that Rahul was her biological child.

Puja had had some psychological problems from childhood due to her mothers’ suicide and now her condition was getting worst because of being separated from her baby.  One second she was silent and the next she would scream asking, “Where is my baby?  Where is he?  He must be hungry, he is crying, give my baby back!  Where is my son?  I beg you, I beg you give him back to me!”  Sometimes she mumbled and smiled, “Oh, baby, oh oh, don’t cry, don’t cry lovely handsome baby.”

Spring was here, the weather was chilly and Puja felt extremely cold and empty.  As usual Puja was holding a small pillow and talking to it, smiling at it as if it was her little son.  “Oh my dear baby, talk to me, are you cold?”  This was when Mr. Abishik came to visit her.  Puja immediately jumped up and pulled on his arm. “Where is my son?  Give me my son! I beg you, give me my son!” she cried and started to tear at Mr. Abishik’s clothes. Mr. Abihisik was shocked and angry.  He could not tolerate her behaviour anymore.  He grabbed Puja’s arm to stop her.   Puja seemed to use all her strength to hit and bite him back. Mr. Abishik yelled at her.  “Damn you!  You are such a mad woman just like your mother! Unbelievable! Ashmita is my wife and Rahul is my son, try to understand.” Mr. Abihshik pushed Puja away and started to drive back home.
Puja ran after his car saying “Try to understand.  Please give me my son.  I beg you, give me my son back!”  She kept shouting and running until she could run no more. 

She wandered for days nonstop and kept repeating “Give me my son, Give me my son.”  Puja’s madness was getting out of control.  People around the neighbourhood had started to become aware of the inhuman treatment of Mr and Mrs Abishik towards her. The more they found out about Puja’s story and her circumstances, the more they sympathised with her and condemned Mr and Mrs Abishik.  Now that people knew the truth, Puja had for the first time found some true friends who cared for her without any strings attached.  Mr and Mrs Abishik had lost the respect and trust amongst the locals, and it was getting harder for them to live in the community. “It’s very hard to look into their eyes, they are full of hatred and disgust, I don’t want to live here anymore” said Ashmita.  “Most of all, whenever I go out they call me ‘child snatcher’, and ‘barren’.  They even give me nightmares, I can’t continue living here.” she said.   “We may be able to leave the village or even the country but we can’t escape from our consciences.  Where ever we go, we are child snatchers.  We have taken a new born child away from his mother, we have committed crime.” replied Mr Abishik. “But you are his father.  What does it matter that Rahul could not be with his real mother?  I cared for him.  I love him more than anyone does.” said Ashmita. “Yes, I am his father, but haven’t been a good one.  Pack your clothes we are leaving this village as soon as possible. You are right for once, we no longer belong in this neighbourhood.” said Mr Abishik.  “What will happen to Rahul?” Ashmita asked.  “He should be where he belongs, with his real mother." Mr Abishik replied.