My Re-Write for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Hi here is my re-write for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl. This is based on his original text published in 1964. I wanted to stay true to the original genre of children’s literature. Therefore this story has de-centering of imperialist and orientalist concerns, but it is hidden in metaphor and symbolism.
Hopefully a child would be entertained by this and an adult will also enjoy it.

DOODLE’S SWEET LIFE

Through the branches of the Bong Bong Tree, Doodle briefly caught a flash of the most vibrant red.

“What can that be?” he murmured to himself crawling forward as quickly as a Snozzwanger after a toddler Oompa-Loompa. For didn’t you know that toddler Oompa-Loompas are the tenderest and juiciest meat for the Snozzwanger out for a quick lunch.

The glimpse of red vanished but Doodles interest had been caught. He jumped to the next tree and could hear whatever creature he was chasing veer off to the left. However Doodle chuckled to himself.

“I’m not the village tree climbing champion for nothing?” side stepping a whizzes birds nest.

Then all of a sudden the beast, monster, creature, animal, no, most beautiful Oompa-Loompa in the world stopped.

“WOW, WOOOOOW” was all that escaped Doodles lips.

“Why are you chasing me?” demanded the 3ft 7 beauty, pinching himself hoping that something a little more intelligent would escape his lips, Doodle replied “I was hoping I could take something a little more interesting home for dinner tonight than green caterpillars, but you are obviously a feast for my eyes and not the stomach”

Can you be anymore stupid, cheesy whatever you want to call it yelled 1001 voices inside Doodles head?

The tiniest of laughs escaped her lips, it sounded like the petals of the Faddalud flower gently swaying in the afternoon breeze.

“I’m sorry, let me start over, Hi I’m Doodle, what’s your name?” leaning over to blow on her kneecaps. For this was how Oompa-Loompas said hello.

Returning the bending, blowing gesture, “Meajana” replied the most beautiful red lips Doodle had ever seen. “Wow that is beautiful, what does it mean?” Doodle could feel several brain cells coming back to life. “Guiding light, my parents named me after the star to the North of Tonzo’s Sock”

For the next few hours Doodle and Meajana explored, talked and laughed. Doodle knew deep down he should have been collecting eucalyptus leaves and bark from the Bong Bong tree. But he would willingly eat nothing but the disgusting green caterpillars for 732 days, a full Oompa-Loompa year, just to spend this afternoon with Meajana.

Turning slowly in the fading sunlight Meajana reluctantly whispered “I guess I better go Doodle, thanks for a wonderful afternoon” “must you” shot out quicker than was probably cool.

“I mean, I had a lot of fun too. I hope I can see you again” the 1001 voices were back in Doodles head yelling, kiss her, kiss her.

Doodle started to lean in, he had waited all of his life for this moment. Meajana slowly inched closer. The excitement in the air was palatable like the breath of the Hornswogglers, thousands of little daggers of electricity was in the air.

OOOOOUUUUCCCHHH!!!!

“Fodswap and Fiddlesticks” Doodle sighed, this darn pain in the back of my mouth.

“You okay Doodle?” sleepily asked Di Dong from the bunk above “yeah, it’s just this darn pain in my mouth, I wish someone knew what it was, enough of us have it”

“Anyway no point going back to sleep Skeebo is going to be coming in soon singing that annoying song”

“Oompa-Loompa
Doopity do
I have a message
Specially for you
Up out of bed
If you want to be fed
There is work to be done
And no time to have fun.”

The whole room joined in on the last two lines. “You know doodle, if Skeebo wasn’t Wonka’s right hand Loompa, I would have some serious fun with that little skunk” Looking round to make sure no-one could hear Doodle replied “yeah me too.”

This was the day Skeebo had been nagging all the Oompa-Loompas about for the past year. Wonka was opening up his factory, the first visitors in over 10 years.

“Di Dong, I will be so glad when today is over, these 18 hour shifts, I wish I could go exploring like in Loompaland, I just wish I could see ...” fading off to a whisper that only Di Dong could hear “Meajana”.

“Doodle, we know the ladies are here somewhere but skeebo the scum sucking ferret is not saying” after a few seconds Di Dong continued “now come on, the best thing to do is get to work, someone’s got to do the sweat labour of making the world a sweeter place.”

Skeebo pompously strode into the Chocolate Room, “Loompa’s, Loompa’s can I have your attention, Mr Willy Wonka will be doing a walk through before the guests arrive” then as an afterthought he continued, “do not make me,... I mean us look stupid”

Di Dong leaning over whispered “If he wants stupid, all he has to do is look in the mirror” Doodle clamping his mouth tried hard not to laugh out loud.

At that very moment Mr Wonka came dancing in the door. The only dancing Doodle ever did was with his tongue, trying to stifle the endless needles of pain in the back of his mouth. Mr Wonka danced around commenting here and there on what a great job he had done. Then all of a sudden as he approached Doodle there was a thump, a soft jelly sugar coated butterfly had fallen to the ground.

“You” Mr Wonka demanded, for he did not know anyone’s name except Skeebo” Mr Wonka, pointing at Doodle “quickly re-attach it; nothing is to go wrong as I showcase my glory.”

Lucky for Doodle he was a champion tree climber, it helped living the first 18 years of his life in a tree. Quick as a flick he was up the nearest tree before you could say Snozzwangers. Grabbing the icing paste from his sweet belt, Doodle reattached the butterfly.

The next few hours dragged by slowly as the pain in Doodles mouth increased. A few months before another Loompa, Fizzwald had suggested placing one’s tongue hard against the back of one’s mouth on whatever side hurts. This is why it appears that Loompa’s have fat cheeks. When in reality they have very fine chiselled features.

A clock could be heard striking 10 in the distance, the tour was about to begin. The Loompa’s could not help but be excited; these were the first people from outside the factory walls that any of them had ever seen.

“Di Dong, does my hair have enough spring in it?” “Doodle, you could spear a red beetle on those points” Didn’t you know frizzy hair was an Oompa-Loompa’s crowning glory.

Before the Oompa-Loompa’s knew it there was a knock at the door, then in strode five children shoving and pushing hoping to be the first. Peering from behind the waterfall the Oompa-Loompa’s watched,

The first a boy, who was very very big,
He looked like a revolting little pig.
And then a girl who chew, chew, chewed,
She looked quite like a heifer of a moo.
Next was quite the little madam,
Who wanted everything one could fathom.
A boy was next his eyes looked like glass,
From sitting way to long on his ass.
Last but not least a surprising little lad,
He almost looked a little sad.

The day went on as Wonka had planned, children falling for his traps. Oompa-Loompa’s being forced to sing Skeebo’s silly little songs. Doodle was just glad he only had to sing the Chocolate Room song.

“Di Dong, do you think when this tour is finally over we can get back to normal, maybe even go find the ladies?” “You know Doodle, I don’t know anything but like they say ““when in Rome do as the Romans””, pick up that there four leaf spearmint clover and make a wish”.

“I guess anything is worth a try” replied Doodle, quickly changing the subject, “Did you see that fat Augustus Gloop, slopping up the chocolate river, that is enough to put me off cacao beans for life, bring on good old green caterpillars I say”

Di Dong laughed animatedly quickly adding “yeah and did you see his mum, like she didn’t see that coming”. “The gogo berry doesn’t fall far from the tree does it?” All the Oompa-Loompa’s burst into laughter.

“DODDLE, DOODLE where are you” Skeebo could be heard yelling as he entered the Chocolate Room.

“What does he need now, can a Loompa not have a moments rest” Doodle sighed exasperatingly. “Yes Skeebo, what do you need now?” “One of the brats tried the fizzy flying Room and landed on the sterilized ceiling, Mr Wonka needs someone to clean off the ceiling and you’re the best climber here”

Doodle was so excited, in all his years at the factory he had never been to another candy making room. Skeebo broke into his thoughts “I am so busy, Mr Wonka needs me to supervise the songs and extradition in each room of the tour, you are going to have to go by yourself, go out that door, down to the end of the back corridor into the glass elevator and push 328 for the Fizzy Flying Room” ... “And don’t disappoint me”.

“Pinch me Di Dong, is this for real” Di Dong happily replied “sure is mate, have enough fun for both of us”

Doodle excitedly approached the door, yet once the door was open was this really something he wanted or even could do. 10 years, 10 long years Doodle had wanted to leave the Chocolate Room. “Just place one foot in front of the other” Doodle whispered to himself.

The back corridor was nothing like he would off expected, 10 years ago they were brought inside in crates with small holes to breath, it was the dead of night and very little could be seen. The corridor was empty; the walls were painted a very dull grey colour. There were at least twelve doors on either side with some exciting names like Cavity Filling Caramels, Invisible Chocolate Bars, Luminous Lollies and just ahead Moulding Marzipan. The door stared to creak open for the Moulding Marzipan Room.

Doodle quickened his step so he could get a peek inside, a lady Oompa-Loompa pushed out a tray of beautiful flowers, birds and butterflies moulded out of marzipan and continued on down the hall.

Doodle peeked inside and knew in an instance those eyes that looked back at him, those red lips he could never forget “Meaja...” The door was slammed in Doodle’s face by a woman who looked suspiously like Skeebo, just one hundred years older.

“Could it really be her, have I finally found her, and only down the hall this whole time?” Before Doodle knew it he was at the glass elevator. He pushed the button and the door sprung right open. Doodle walked in with a spring in his step, and searched for button 328, amongst the thousands that covered the glass walls.

The elevator took off at the speed of light and came to an abrupt halt, before Doodle could count to ten. The elevator door opened onto another back corridor, Doodle had a hard time concentrating what was he meant to be doing again?, where was he suppose to go? All he could think of was the woman of his dreams. Strangely the nagging pain that followed him every moment of the day had eased.

Looking ahead a large sign read “Fizzy Flying Room” and it all came back, but now the task seemed a little more pleasant.

Doodle looked around and off to the side saw a cupboard piled high with Fizzy bottles, two suspiously empty. Doodle opened the cupboard and found the cleaning supplies he would need. Turning round he looked up to the highest point, an extraction fan was sucking up bubbles and whirling round fast. It all came back fast, climbing the walls would be like climbing the Bong Bong tree, “one never forgets” he laughed to himself.

Turning off the extraction fan, because an Oompa-Loompa without a head is not a pretty sight, Doodle assessed the situation. He noticed that there were rungs that circled the entire room. This was going to be easier than climbing the Bong Bong tree to the top of the canopy with your arms full of green caterpillars wiggling to be free.

Doodle started to climb although slightly distracted “could it really of been her? or was it just a mirage? Am I starting to lose the last of my garbanzo beans in my head having been locked up for so long?”

Losing concentration for a split second, Doodle lost his grip and clamoured to get his footing, yet unlike a tree there was nothing to catch him, or to grab hold off. This cold stainless sterile steel environment was not what he was use to. “sometimes I really miss Loompaland, focus doodle” He whispered to himself as he picked himself up off of the cold hard floor and started over again.

Taking the trek a lot slower, Doodle carefully placed one foot in front of the other, paying careful attention on getting from one point to the next, in much the same way he had gotten through the past ten years. Before Doodle knew it he was almost at the top, the pain in the back of his mouth was intense and raw, yet he could not let this distract him. Reaching into his sweet belt, Doodle got out the cleaning cloth and wiped off the hand, foot and a few other body part prints that covered the top of the dome.

“Nougat nibbles, this pain is unbearable”, remembering back to when he had first arrived at Wonka’s factory Doodle thought of the first time he had a Wonka Classic Chocolate Bar, he didn’t know you had to take the foil off before he ate it, I mean come on what’s covered in foil in LoompaLand. The pain was much the same.

Before Doodle knew it he was back on the ground, and could not wait to get back to Di Dong and tell him of his adventure. Running back to the glass elevator, feeling slightly overwhelmed Doodle pushed his button.

As the elevator doors opened standing before Doodle was Mr Wonka and the small boy, however now there was a bright spark in his eyes, gone was the sadness and despair. The boy bending over said “Hi I’m Charlie, what’s your name?” “Doddle” he tentatively replied, For Wonka had never spoken to him. “Well I’ll see you around” Charlie answered with a warming smile”

“Come on we have places to go, things to see, much to be done” Mr Wonka interjected, and before Doodle knew it the door was shut.

When Doodle got back to the Chocolate Room, he noticed that the Loompa’s had returned to their dorm room for the night. Half skipping, half running Doodle flung open the dorm room door.

What a sight greeted him, Oomph’s were all over each other, fists were being thrown left and right and everywhere Doodle looked. “Stop, please stop” but then Doodle noticed that everyone was laughing and not yelling and screaming. “Doodle, Doodle let me sock you” Di Dong enthusiastically yelled.

“Just a minute, what is going on here?” Doodle yelled over the jubilation. Di Dong quickly grabbed Doodle by the hand and took him to a quieter corner so they could talk.

“Well you know how Fizzwald works in the Nut Sorting Room”

“Yeah, get on with the story”

“I will if you stop interrupting, Doodle”

“So like I was saying, today that spoilt brat of a kid who wants everything, Veru, Verhu, whatever it was totally fell for Wonka’s trap and wanted her own squirrel, after the Oompas sang their, or should I say Skeebo’s song, they had to go to the furnace room to get the brat”

Taking a quick breath Di dong continued “She was kicking, screaming like a banshee monkey who has had one too many moonlight mushrooms, and then threw her head back against Fizzwald”

“Oh poor Fizzwald, is he okay?” Doodle yelled out.

“That’s the best part of the story; she knocked out his back tooth. Fizzwald said it hurt at first, but then after a few minutes all the pain he had been experiencing for several years was gone”

“Can you believe it, completely gone after all these years” Di Dong quickly added.

Doodle did not have to think twice, “go on Di Dong, and make it a good one, right here”

POW!!!

Before Doodle knew it his back two teeth were lying on the ground, and blood was dripping out of his mouth. Doodle started to chuckle at first to himself, and then it got louder and louder. Di Dong joined in laughing so hard their sides started to hurt, off they went in search of another Loompa who needed their help.

Later that night as Doodle lay down his weary head, for the first time he had hope in his heart. For the first time a pasty face (this was what the Loompas like to call people from Wonkas world), had spoken to him and shown real interest, He finally knew where Meajana was, and last but not least that annoying, nagging constant pain was finally gone.

Tonight Doodle knew he would have sweet dreams.