Jar Jar Binks sat on the edge of the Lianorm Swamp, staring at the various plants and animals. Survival is not a problem for Binks, who like all Gungans, learned to hunt at a very young age. In fact, swamp lands like this are extremely well suited for permanent Gungan settlements if not for the humans who live in the nearby city. The Gungans still remember how contact with humans, no matter how peaceful it maybe at first, always end in conflict.
It has been almost 90 years since turmoil last befell the planet of Naboo. The Human population of Naboo, self identifying as “peace-loving” creatures, do not brand themselves as victors over the Gungans. Most humans, in light of the more serious historical events, do not even consider the Gungan-Naboo War a noteworthy conflict.
As the Humans continue building their terrestrial cities, the Gungans could only recede to the oceans of Naboo. The Gungans, being amphibians, require both land and water habitats if they are to survive for extended periods of time. Having been driven from terrestrial land, they constructed massive formations of underwater spheres. Filling these spheres with air, most of the necessary qualities of terrestrial land could be mimicked underwater. However, such spheres are difficult to build and especially hard maintain. Not nearly enough spheres could be sustained to allow every Gungan to live in comfort. Gungans are very athletic, naturally capable of great bursts of speed, and leaping great heights - feats that are rarely possible in the crowed confines of their new city.
On the other hand, the humans of Naboo never shied away from their Gungan counterparts. Having little interest in the vast oceans of Naboo, most humans simply believed that the Gungans’ retreat was because they simply preferred the underwater environment, and saw this as an opportunity to continue land-filling the mass swamps of Naboo and expand their cities even further to facilitate their business of deep space trade.
Binks was no fan of history. This was probably because his own personal history had few things worth remembering. Both his parents fell victim to the Behemoth of the Deep while hunting for food in their Bongo (submarine), leaving the then teenaged Binks an orphan. Being simple Gungan folk in dire times, Binks’ parents left him with only what he was taught him: the ability to speak Galactic Basic (the one and only Human language and also the lingua franca of the Galaxy) and Bongo navigation skills; the former being of little use in Gungan society, while the latter would only be useful if the young Binks could acquire a new Bongo someday.
Paying little heed to past events, Binks’ thoughts focused on the present: on his own exile and how he would return to his people. Having been through a rough childhood and surviving many misfortunes, Binks has developed an optimistic attitude that all things will sort themselves out in time. He knew that, while Boss Rugor Nass is quick to anger, like many Gungans, he is also quick to forgive. Many of Binks’ friends in important positions are also sympathetic to Binks, and having always been there for Binks when he needed them most, will try to talk Boss Nass down. Soon Nass will realize that his punishment for Binks has been too harsh, and accept Binks back into the fold again. For now, Binks thought to himself, he might as well enjoy his time in the swamps. After a few days, when Boss Nass is in a better mood, he will return to ask for forgiveness.
Binks’ thoughts were interrupted by strange pulsating noise. His eyes followed the source to see a bearded human in a robe, tailed by a MASSIVE droid Multi-Troop Transport. Before Binks could figure out what was going on, the bearded human had already slammed into Binks, and as the two fell, the human pushed Binks as hard as he could against the swamp mud. The soft mud yielded somewhat, allowing the hovering MMT to speed over the pair without crushing them.
“Are you brainless? You almost got us killed!” exclaimed the bearded human. Binks has realized that the huge transport was trying to ram and kill them, and was very grateful that this human saved his life. Also realizing that this Human spoke Galactic Basic (as do all humans), and understanding what the he said, Binks thought he should make it known that he could speak Basic as well. Having rarely practiced this foreign language in a long time, Binks at first was only capable of coming up with a few words:
“I spake” uttered Binks in his heavy Gungan accent. The bearded Human was clearly not amused by what Binks learned when he was a child.
“The ability to speak does not make you intelligent. Now get outta here!” replied the bearded human as he began to leave.
Realizing that he must remedy this miscommunication, Binks chased after him saying:
“No...no! Mesa stay... Mesa yous humble servaunt.” Binks, like most Gungan, believed in balance in the world, and he must somehow reciprocate the help this human gave him.
“That won’t be necessary” replied the human. Binks was not about to give up his offer to help.
“Oh boot tis! Tis demunded byda guds. Tis a live debett, tis. Mesa culled Jaja Binkss.”
“I have no time for this now...” replied the human. Oddly enough, he never bothered to introduce himself to Binks. It was only after this human’s death did Binks learn that his name was Qui-Gon Jinn, and that he was a life long servant of the Jedi Order and an honoured hero of the Galactic Republic.
Suddenly, two Trade Federation battle droids mounted on small high-speed hover-vehicles popped up from nowhere. They were chasing another slightly shorter junior human.
Qui-Gon Jinn was obviously ready to fight these enemies. Within a split second, he and drew a small metallic weapon from his belt, which ignited a short but extremely powerful beam of energy. Reflecting the lasers fired by the battle droids, Qui-Gon quickly sent them crashing into the swamps.
The two humans were obviously brothers in arms. The junior human stepped forward and apologized to the senior Qui-Gon.
“Sorry, Master, the water fried my weapon.”
“You forgot to turn your power off again, didn't you?”
The junior human nodded sheepishly.
“It won't take long to recharge, but this is a lesson I hope you've learned, my young Padawan.”
As the two humans spoke, Binks felt the gravity of the Trade Federation invasion. Having only heard about the invasion among his fellow Gungans, Binks now knew the humans of Naboo were indeed in very great danger from this mechanical army.
“What's this?” The junior human (who Binks found out a month later to be named Obi-Wan Kenobi, and the Jedi apprentice of Qui-Gon Jinn) looked curious at Binks.
But before Binks could answer for himself, Qui-Gon replied for him.
“A local. Let's go, before more of those droids show up.“
While Binks understood perfectly well that there was little time for pleasantries and politeness, it was really strange that these humans didn’t want to know anything about him and the Gungans, designating him simply as “a local”. One would think that if you are trapped in enemy territory, gravely outnumbered with an entire army after you, you would try to make as many friends as possible, asking any non-hostile around you for help. Especially when Binks has made it perfectly clear that he is willing to help.
The two humans began to run again, hoping to avoid any further droid patrols. Jar Jar Binks was still did not give up his offer to help. He chased after the two humans and shouted to them:
“Ex-squeeze me, but da moto grande safe place would be Otoh Gunga. Tis where I grew up...Tis safe city.”
This clearly got the humans’ attention. They immediately stopped running, and turned around:
“A City?” asked Qui-Gon.
Binks nods enthusiastically.
“Can you take us there?”
Binks paused for a slight moment, and said:
“Ahhh, will...on second taut...no, not willy.”
Despite his willingness to help these humans, Binks still has to think practically. While help can certainly be found in Otoh Gunga, if Boss Nass finds out about human warriors in the city, he might have them locked up simply to make sure the location of their city remains hidden from the droid army. Even Binks himself is not really supposed to be here in the swamps, lest he be captured and the city’s location revealed. Nass would have considered this before exiling Binks, had he not been so furious.
“No?” Asked Qui-Gon.
There was no way Binks could tell such a long story and make the humans understand in just a few sentences. But Binks had to try:
“Iss embarrissing, boot... My afrai my've bean banished. My forgoten der Bosses would do terrible tings, TERRIBLE tings to …”
The same pulsating noise was in the air again. Either the same droid transport was coming back for another sweep, or they’ve run into another one. Qui-Gon interrupts Binks and tells him:
“You hear that? That's the sound of a thousand terrible things heading this way...”
Obi-Wan continued Qui-Gon’s sentence:
“When they find us, they will crush us, grind us into little pieces, then blast us into oblivion!”
“Oh! Yousa point is well seen. Dis way! Hurry!” replied Binks to the persuasive humans. “Boot my warning yous. Gungans no liken outlaunders. Don't expict a wern welcome.”
“Don't worry, this has not been our day for warm welcomes.”
And with that, Binks led the two humans to a nearby murky lake, which is actually connected underground to Naboo’s Ocean. Swimming underwater, he led the Jedi knights to the City of Otoh Gunga just as he promised.
----
After a long underwater swim, Binks and his two new human friends entered the City of Otoh Gunga. Gungan civilians scatter on sight of the two strange creatures, and it is not long before four armed guards came and surrounded the odd trio. Leading the guards was Captain Tarpals, a long time friend of Binks’.
“Heyo-dalee, Cap'n Tarpals, Mesa back!” said Binks as he gave Tarpals a sheepish grin.
Tarpals had just finished filing an appeal to revert Binks’ exiled status. It was a lot of trouble on Tarpals’ part, but at least the appeal had gone well, and Binks would likely be granted a pardon soon. But now, Tarpals has to arrest Binks again for bringing the two humans to the Gungan city. It goes without saying how angry Tarpals was, having just helped to bail Binks out, only to have him find greater trouble.
After assigning one of his guards to ceremoniously take Binks into custody (Binks was more than honourable and obedient enough to report to the detention area on his own), Tarpals now escorted the two Jedi knights to meet with Boss Nass.
As the Jedi entered the throne room, Boss Nass, leader of the Gungan people announced in his deep sovereign voice:
“Yousa cannot bees hair. Dis army of mackineeks up dare tis new weesong!”
“That droid army is about to attack the Naboo. We must warn them.” Explained Qui-Gon their purpose here.
“Wesa no like da Naboo! Un dey no like uss-ens. Da Naboo tink day so smarty den us-ens. Day tink day brains so big.” was Nass’ reply. Rarely could any language and culture in the galaxy summarize diplomatic relationships in such a concise an elegant way.
“After those droids take control of the surface, they will come here and take control of you.” Tried Qui-Gon again to partition for help.
“No, mesa no tink so. Mesa scant talkie witda Naboo, and no nutten talkie it outlaunders. Dos mackineeks no comen here! Dey not know of uss-en.“ Qui-Gon was refused again.
“You and the Naboo form a symbiont circle. What happens to one of you will affect the other. You must understand this.” Tried Qui-Gon a third time to partition for help.
“Wesa wish no nutten in yousa tings, outlaunder, and wesa no caren about da Naboo.” was Nass’ final reply.
Seeing that he is unable to convince the Gungans to provide help in this conflict, he waved his hand to put a mind trick on Boss Nass, hoping that this will at least yield them some small aid.
“Then speed us on our way.” said Qui-Gon waving his hand, unleashing his Jedi mind control powers.
It is unknown how Qui-Gon might reconcile this particular usage of mind control with the Jedi code of conduct. Certainly, Boss Nass is not an enemy of the Jedi or the Republic, nor is he a servant of such an enemy. Neither is Boss Nass a greedy merchant blackmailing the Jedi into paying more than fair for what they need. Boss Nass is the leader of an entire people, and such a dishonourable act of using mind control powers over him was certainly not the Jedi way. However, this was a time in history with far greater corruptions in the Jedi ranks, such as Qui-Gon’s old mentor, Count Dooku betraying the Jedi and going rogue. Therefore, it is unlikely that anyone would have the time to question Qui-Gon’s ethics. Furthermore, this point is made moot by the fact that the mind trick didn't actually work.
“Wesa gonna speed yousaway.” was the reply. Nass’ will was far too strong for mind control powers to have effect. Instead he has indeed decided to let these two humans go.
“We need a transport.” asked Qui-Gon.
“Wesa give yousa una bongo. Da speedest way tooda Naboo tis goen through da planet core. Now go. “
“Thank you for your help. We go in peace.”
Boss Nass has left the outcome of this meeting in the hand of their gods. Nass did not want to arrest these Jedi, since that would be an improper way to treat guests, and will only serve to incur the wrath of the Humans. Nass didn’t want to send them straight back to the swamps they came from either, because they would likely be captured be the Droids, and the location of Otoh Gunga might be revealed. Having them navigate the planet’s core, a dangerous but possible feat, would mean that if they shall perish, the Gungan City would be safe; but if the gods indeed have some higher mysterious purpose for these humans and let them live, then let the gods’ will be done.
On their way out, Qui-Gon saw Binks being chained. As Qui-Gon walked by, Binks tried to warn Qui-Gon about the dangers he will face:
“Daza setten yous up. Goen through da planet core is bad bombin!!”
And also thinking for a moment about himself, Binks asked Qui-Gon:
“Ahhh...any hep hair would be hot.”
Being in need of a navigator who knows the oceans, and knowing that he has had a hand in Binks’ fate, Qui-Gon sought to bring Binks along. He returned to the throne room, and quoting Binks on his life debt, at the same time using another mind trick (to no effect), asked Nass to let them bring Binks with them.
Nass did not wish send Binks on such a dangerous journey, and asked Binks to confirm his life debt to Qui-Gon, giving him a chance to declare his life debt already paid with what he’d already done.
“Binks. Yousa havena liveplay with thisen hisen?” said Nass in Galactic Basic so that Qui-Gon could also understand. Binks, surprisingly, confirmed his life debt.
“Your gods demand that his life belongs to me now.” added Qui-Gon.
With little more he could say on this matter, Nass declared: “Hisen live tis yos, outlauder. Begone wit him.”
Binks was happy that Qui-Gon took his second advice to help him, but became extremely distraught when he knew that Qui-Gon didn’t take his first advice to not go through the planet’s core.
“Count mesa outta dis! Better dead here, den deader in da core... Yee guds, whata mesa sayin?!”
But little could be done now, they were already on their way to the Bongo hanger, and nothing Binks could say would change Qui-Gon’s suborned mind.
----
Binks sat in pilot’s seat, and entered the coordinates for the main waypoints to navigate Naboo’s planet core. As their long trip began, the group tried to start a conversation to pass the time:
“Master, why do you keep dragging these pathetic life forms along with us?” asked Obi-Wan Kenobi very bluntly. This was obviously a bad conversation starter, to which Qui-Gon gave no reply. After a moment’s silence, Binks asked:
“Hey, ho? Where wesa goen?” Binks wanted to know more their destination: the Human city of Theed, a place Binks has heard, but never visited.
“You're the navigator.” was Qui-Gon’s reply, again cutting the conversation short. After another moment’s silence, Obi-Wan asked another blunt question:
“Why were you banished, Jar Jar?”
This isn’t something Binks wanted to talk about, and after a little bit of thinking, he decided to simply say:
“Tis a long tale, buta small part wawdabe mesa... ooooh...aaaa..... clumsy.”
“They banished you because you're clumsy?” Asked Obi-Wan again, insisting to follow up this line of questioning, to which Binks gave no further reply.
The conversation was obviously not working out. Silence pervaded in the small crowded bongo. Binks switched on the Bongo’s search lights, so that at least they could pass the time by admiring the underwater view.
As they closed in on the planet’s core, search lights would soon be a necessity. Dangerous creatures dwell in these deep waters, and while lights may attract the medium sized predators, the most dangerous Behemoths of the Deep are insensitive to light. However, it is much better actually knowing whether there are dangers nearby than to go on blind, because the Bongo does have enough maneuverability to avoid dangerous creatures. The keys to survival would be constant alert, and having good piloting skills.
It is not long before a medium sized creature (around 4 times the size of the Bongo is considered medium sized) caught sight of the Bongo. Binks started to become nervous. These are the same waters where his parents lost their lives.
“Just relax, the Force will guide us...” said Qui-Gon, breaking the silence, and trying to calm their pilot down.
“Ooooh, maxibig...’da Force’ is...Wellen, dat smells stinkowiff.” Binks was not amused by Qui-Gon’s religious blessing. Few of the Gungans have even heard about the Force.
After a few sharp turns, the medium predator got hold of the Bongo in its jaws. If their ship is disabled, they will no doubt perish in the deep waters. However, before the predator’s Jaws could do extensive damage, it was suddenly released. Revealed to trio was the Behemoth of the Deep, the apex predator of Naboo’s ocean core, and in its mouth lies the hapless body of the medium predator.
Although mostly functional, the Bongo began losing power after the bite it received. The crew of three had to begin emergency repairs in this hostile environment. Search lights had to be deactivated during the repairs.
After some time, their bongo was fully operational again, but as they flicked their lights back on, another medium predator was right in front of them, the type sensitive to light. Being too close to maneuver, Binks thought that this would be their end.
Yet again, the Behemoth of the Deep appeared, and with a powerful thrust, it tore the medium predator right in half, leaving Binks and his two friends free to go.
“There's always a bigger fish.” commented Qui-Gon humorously.
It would appear that there is balance in the universe after all. The gods are indeed fair. While one god would guide the Behemoth to take away Binks parents, another god has guided the same Behemoth to save Binks and his friends twice.
Having passed through the dangerous planet core, the rest of their journey to Theed was very safe, albeit boring, with the trio still being unable to start any interesting conversations.
It wasn’t long before the Bongo emerged in a river that ran through the city of Theed, the human capital of Naboo.
----
[To my fellow bloggers: I’m sorry that my story is still incomplete. I have already exceeded our 3000 word quota, and yet, I am not even half way through. I know it’s not very nice to leave you with half a story, so I’ll summarize what I have planned in my outline. This rewrite still follows the basic story of the Star Wars movies, with the twists being mostly in the details]
Theed
Binks, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Obi-Wan Kenobi arrive in Theed. Binks is amazed at how advanced the human city is. They rescue Queen Padme Amidala from droid army, and try to get off the planet to find help.
Binks, for the first time in his life, encounters a starship: a bongo used for travelling in space from planet to planet at speeds that are faster than light; the one piece of technology that makes colonization of the entire galaxy possible, a technology the Gungans do not have.
----
Tatooine
Having had their starship damaged, Binks, Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padme Amidala, and her entourage are forced to seek help on the nearby planet of Tatooine.
Binks learns that for all the powers of the Galactic Republic, not all humans lead the prosperous lives of the city of Theed.
----
Coruscant
After befriending Anakin Skywalker, Binks and company reach their finals destination: Coruscant, hoping that they at last will find help for Naboo.
Binks is truly amazed by the industrial wonders of Coruscant, and its econimic prowess. The entire planet is covered by one big city, with countless skyscrapers that indeed reached the clouds.
However, their journey was futile: the republic could provide no help for Naboo. Binks and company must now return to Naboo empty handed.
----
Naboo
Naboo now suffers complete occupation by the droids army. The Trade Federation also found out about the location of Otoh Gunga, and the Gungan city is now abandoned.
Binks knew where the Gungans would go to seek refuge, and once again took the humans to see Boss Nass.
Already, Boss Nass has mobilized the Gungans for war against the droid army so that the Gungons may have a chance at survival. However, even a victory against the droids would be for nothing if the humans of Naboo still continued to complete oppress the Gungan.
Binks, bringing Queen Padme Amidala to Boss Nass, brought some insurance of future diplomatic relations, and also the promise of some human forces to fight as allies against the droids.
For this reason, Binks was promoted to the rank of Bombad General, commanding the Gungan Grand army jointly with his friend, General Tarpals.
Nass’ choice of promoting Binks proved instrumental in the following battle. Coordinating the Gungan/Human joint forces by being able to speak both languages, and being one of the few Gungans with field experience dealing with battle droids, Binks fought valiantly, winning the battle for the Gungans and Naboo (and no, Binks is not a bumbling idiot. He proved himself to be a great general.)
----
Aftermath
Having forced the Trade Federation to surrender, and securing much more favourable diplomatic with the humans of Naboo; Binks became a hero of the Gungan.
Not long after, Binks married a beautiful Gungan named Fassa, a niece of Boss Nass, and one of the officers under his command during the battle of Naboo. Binks would go on serving his people, representing them in the council Galactic Republic.
----
Epilogue
It might seem befitting that Binks, his fellow Gungans, and their descendants should live happily ever after.
Any person with a some knowledge of Galactic history knows this did not come to pass.
Binks is now remembered as the clumsy senator with a deep accent, who rallied “Dellow Felegates” into giving Chancellor Palpatine absolute power, setting into motion the biggest disaster in Galactic history.
As for the rest of the Gungans, little is remembered of them. They are a people in the Galaxy that no one would ever want to care about.
It has been almost 90 years since turmoil last befell the planet of Naboo. The Human population of Naboo, self identifying as “peace-loving” creatures, do not brand themselves as victors over the Gungans. Most humans, in light of the more serious historical events, do not even consider the Gungan-Naboo War a noteworthy conflict.
As the Humans continue building their terrestrial cities, the Gungans could only recede to the oceans of Naboo. The Gungans, being amphibians, require both land and water habitats if they are to survive for extended periods of time. Having been driven from terrestrial land, they constructed massive formations of underwater spheres. Filling these spheres with air, most of the necessary qualities of terrestrial land could be mimicked underwater. However, such spheres are difficult to build and especially hard maintain. Not nearly enough spheres could be sustained to allow every Gungan to live in comfort. Gungans are very athletic, naturally capable of great bursts of speed, and leaping great heights - feats that are rarely possible in the crowed confines of their new city.
On the other hand, the humans of Naboo never shied away from their Gungan counterparts. Having little interest in the vast oceans of Naboo, most humans simply believed that the Gungans’ retreat was because they simply preferred the underwater environment, and saw this as an opportunity to continue land-filling the mass swamps of Naboo and expand their cities even further to facilitate their business of deep space trade.
Binks was no fan of history. This was probably because his own personal history had few things worth remembering. Both his parents fell victim to the Behemoth of the Deep while hunting for food in their Bongo (submarine), leaving the then teenaged Binks an orphan. Being simple Gungan folk in dire times, Binks’ parents left him with only what he was taught him: the ability to speak Galactic Basic (the one and only Human language and also the lingua franca of the Galaxy) and Bongo navigation skills; the former being of little use in Gungan society, while the latter would only be useful if the young Binks could acquire a new Bongo someday.
Paying little heed to past events, Binks’ thoughts focused on the present: on his own exile and how he would return to his people. Having been through a rough childhood and surviving many misfortunes, Binks has developed an optimistic attitude that all things will sort themselves out in time. He knew that, while Boss Rugor Nass is quick to anger, like many Gungans, he is also quick to forgive. Many of Binks’ friends in important positions are also sympathetic to Binks, and having always been there for Binks when he needed them most, will try to talk Boss Nass down. Soon Nass will realize that his punishment for Binks has been too harsh, and accept Binks back into the fold again. For now, Binks thought to himself, he might as well enjoy his time in the swamps. After a few days, when Boss Nass is in a better mood, he will return to ask for forgiveness.
Binks’ thoughts were interrupted by strange pulsating noise. His eyes followed the source to see a bearded human in a robe, tailed by a MASSIVE droid Multi-Troop Transport. Before Binks could figure out what was going on, the bearded human had already slammed into Binks, and as the two fell, the human pushed Binks as hard as he could against the swamp mud. The soft mud yielded somewhat, allowing the hovering MMT to speed over the pair without crushing them.
“Are you brainless? You almost got us killed!” exclaimed the bearded human. Binks has realized that the huge transport was trying to ram and kill them, and was very grateful that this human saved his life. Also realizing that this Human spoke Galactic Basic (as do all humans), and understanding what the he said, Binks thought he should make it known that he could speak Basic as well. Having rarely practiced this foreign language in a long time, Binks at first was only capable of coming up with a few words:
“I spake” uttered Binks in his heavy Gungan accent. The bearded Human was clearly not amused by what Binks learned when he was a child.
“The ability to speak does not make you intelligent. Now get outta here!” replied the bearded human as he began to leave.
Realizing that he must remedy this miscommunication, Binks chased after him saying:
“No...no! Mesa stay... Mesa yous humble servaunt.” Binks, like most Gungan, believed in balance in the world, and he must somehow reciprocate the help this human gave him.
“That won’t be necessary” replied the human. Binks was not about to give up his offer to help.
“Oh boot tis! Tis demunded byda guds. Tis a live debett, tis. Mesa culled Jaja Binkss.”
“I have no time for this now...” replied the human. Oddly enough, he never bothered to introduce himself to Binks. It was only after this human’s death did Binks learn that his name was Qui-Gon Jinn, and that he was a life long servant of the Jedi Order and an honoured hero of the Galactic Republic.
Suddenly, two Trade Federation battle droids mounted on small high-speed hover-vehicles popped up from nowhere. They were chasing another slightly shorter junior human.
Qui-Gon Jinn was obviously ready to fight these enemies. Within a split second, he and drew a small metallic weapon from his belt, which ignited a short but extremely powerful beam of energy. Reflecting the lasers fired by the battle droids, Qui-Gon quickly sent them crashing into the swamps.
The two humans were obviously brothers in arms. The junior human stepped forward and apologized to the senior Qui-Gon.
“Sorry, Master, the water fried my weapon.”
“You forgot to turn your power off again, didn't you?”
The junior human nodded sheepishly.
“It won't take long to recharge, but this is a lesson I hope you've learned, my young Padawan.”
As the two humans spoke, Binks felt the gravity of the Trade Federation invasion. Having only heard about the invasion among his fellow Gungans, Binks now knew the humans of Naboo were indeed in very great danger from this mechanical army.
“What's this?” The junior human (who Binks found out a month later to be named Obi-Wan Kenobi, and the Jedi apprentice of Qui-Gon Jinn) looked curious at Binks.
But before Binks could answer for himself, Qui-Gon replied for him.
“A local. Let's go, before more of those droids show up.“
While Binks understood perfectly well that there was little time for pleasantries and politeness, it was really strange that these humans didn’t want to know anything about him and the Gungans, designating him simply as “a local”. One would think that if you are trapped in enemy territory, gravely outnumbered with an entire army after you, you would try to make as many friends as possible, asking any non-hostile around you for help. Especially when Binks has made it perfectly clear that he is willing to help.
The two humans began to run again, hoping to avoid any further droid patrols. Jar Jar Binks was still did not give up his offer to help. He chased after the two humans and shouted to them:
“Ex-squeeze me, but da moto grande safe place would be Otoh Gunga. Tis where I grew up...Tis safe city.”
This clearly got the humans’ attention. They immediately stopped running, and turned around:
“A City?” asked Qui-Gon.
Binks nods enthusiastically.
“Can you take us there?”
Binks paused for a slight moment, and said:
“Ahhh, will...on second taut...no, not willy.”
Despite his willingness to help these humans, Binks still has to think practically. While help can certainly be found in Otoh Gunga, if Boss Nass finds out about human warriors in the city, he might have them locked up simply to make sure the location of their city remains hidden from the droid army. Even Binks himself is not really supposed to be here in the swamps, lest he be captured and the city’s location revealed. Nass would have considered this before exiling Binks, had he not been so furious.
“No?” Asked Qui-Gon.
There was no way Binks could tell such a long story and make the humans understand in just a few sentences. But Binks had to try:
“Iss embarrissing, boot... My afrai my've bean banished. My forgoten der Bosses would do terrible tings, TERRIBLE tings to …”
The same pulsating noise was in the air again. Either the same droid transport was coming back for another sweep, or they’ve run into another one. Qui-Gon interrupts Binks and tells him:
“You hear that? That's the sound of a thousand terrible things heading this way...”
Obi-Wan continued Qui-Gon’s sentence:
“When they find us, they will crush us, grind us into little pieces, then blast us into oblivion!”
“Oh! Yousa point is well seen. Dis way! Hurry!” replied Binks to the persuasive humans. “Boot my warning yous. Gungans no liken outlaunders. Don't expict a wern welcome.”
“Don't worry, this has not been our day for warm welcomes.”
And with that, Binks led the two humans to a nearby murky lake, which is actually connected underground to Naboo’s Ocean. Swimming underwater, he led the Jedi knights to the City of Otoh Gunga just as he promised.
----
After a long underwater swim, Binks and his two new human friends entered the City of Otoh Gunga. Gungan civilians scatter on sight of the two strange creatures, and it is not long before four armed guards came and surrounded the odd trio. Leading the guards was Captain Tarpals, a long time friend of Binks’.
“Heyo-dalee, Cap'n Tarpals, Mesa back!” said Binks as he gave Tarpals a sheepish grin.
Tarpals had just finished filing an appeal to revert Binks’ exiled status. It was a lot of trouble on Tarpals’ part, but at least the appeal had gone well, and Binks would likely be granted a pardon soon. But now, Tarpals has to arrest Binks again for bringing the two humans to the Gungan city. It goes without saying how angry Tarpals was, having just helped to bail Binks out, only to have him find greater trouble.
After assigning one of his guards to ceremoniously take Binks into custody (Binks was more than honourable and obedient enough to report to the detention area on his own), Tarpals now escorted the two Jedi knights to meet with Boss Nass.
As the Jedi entered the throne room, Boss Nass, leader of the Gungan people announced in his deep sovereign voice:
“Yousa cannot bees hair. Dis army of mackineeks up dare tis new weesong!”
“That droid army is about to attack the Naboo. We must warn them.” Explained Qui-Gon their purpose here.
“Wesa no like da Naboo! Un dey no like uss-ens. Da Naboo tink day so smarty den us-ens. Day tink day brains so big.” was Nass’ reply. Rarely could any language and culture in the galaxy summarize diplomatic relationships in such a concise an elegant way.
“After those droids take control of the surface, they will come here and take control of you.” Tried Qui-Gon again to partition for help.
“No, mesa no tink so. Mesa scant talkie witda Naboo, and no nutten talkie it outlaunders. Dos mackineeks no comen here! Dey not know of uss-en.“ Qui-Gon was refused again.
“You and the Naboo form a symbiont circle. What happens to one of you will affect the other. You must understand this.” Tried Qui-Gon a third time to partition for help.
“Wesa wish no nutten in yousa tings, outlaunder, and wesa no caren about da Naboo.” was Nass’ final reply.
Seeing that he is unable to convince the Gungans to provide help in this conflict, he waved his hand to put a mind trick on Boss Nass, hoping that this will at least yield them some small aid.
“Then speed us on our way.” said Qui-Gon waving his hand, unleashing his Jedi mind control powers.
It is unknown how Qui-Gon might reconcile this particular usage of mind control with the Jedi code of conduct. Certainly, Boss Nass is not an enemy of the Jedi or the Republic, nor is he a servant of such an enemy. Neither is Boss Nass a greedy merchant blackmailing the Jedi into paying more than fair for what they need. Boss Nass is the leader of an entire people, and such a dishonourable act of using mind control powers over him was certainly not the Jedi way. However, this was a time in history with far greater corruptions in the Jedi ranks, such as Qui-Gon’s old mentor, Count Dooku betraying the Jedi and going rogue. Therefore, it is unlikely that anyone would have the time to question Qui-Gon’s ethics. Furthermore, this point is made moot by the fact that the mind trick didn't actually work.
“Wesa gonna speed yousaway.” was the reply. Nass’ will was far too strong for mind control powers to have effect. Instead he has indeed decided to let these two humans go.
“We need a transport.” asked Qui-Gon.
“Wesa give yousa una bongo. Da speedest way tooda Naboo tis goen through da planet core. Now go. “
“Thank you for your help. We go in peace.”
Boss Nass has left the outcome of this meeting in the hand of their gods. Nass did not want to arrest these Jedi, since that would be an improper way to treat guests, and will only serve to incur the wrath of the Humans. Nass didn’t want to send them straight back to the swamps they came from either, because they would likely be captured be the Droids, and the location of Otoh Gunga might be revealed. Having them navigate the planet’s core, a dangerous but possible feat, would mean that if they shall perish, the Gungan City would be safe; but if the gods indeed have some higher mysterious purpose for these humans and let them live, then let the gods’ will be done.
On their way out, Qui-Gon saw Binks being chained. As Qui-Gon walked by, Binks tried to warn Qui-Gon about the dangers he will face:
“Daza setten yous up. Goen through da planet core is bad bombin!!”
And also thinking for a moment about himself, Binks asked Qui-Gon:
“Ahhh...any hep hair would be hot.”
Being in need of a navigator who knows the oceans, and knowing that he has had a hand in Binks’ fate, Qui-Gon sought to bring Binks along. He returned to the throne room, and quoting Binks on his life debt, at the same time using another mind trick (to no effect), asked Nass to let them bring Binks with them.
Nass did not wish send Binks on such a dangerous journey, and asked Binks to confirm his life debt to Qui-Gon, giving him a chance to declare his life debt already paid with what he’d already done.
“Binks. Yousa havena liveplay with thisen hisen?” said Nass in Galactic Basic so that Qui-Gon could also understand. Binks, surprisingly, confirmed his life debt.
“Your gods demand that his life belongs to me now.” added Qui-Gon.
With little more he could say on this matter, Nass declared: “Hisen live tis yos, outlauder. Begone wit him.”
Binks was happy that Qui-Gon took his second advice to help him, but became extremely distraught when he knew that Qui-Gon didn’t take his first advice to not go through the planet’s core.
“Count mesa outta dis! Better dead here, den deader in da core... Yee guds, whata mesa sayin?!”
But little could be done now, they were already on their way to the Bongo hanger, and nothing Binks could say would change Qui-Gon’s suborned mind.
----
Binks sat in pilot’s seat, and entered the coordinates for the main waypoints to navigate Naboo’s planet core. As their long trip began, the group tried to start a conversation to pass the time:
“Master, why do you keep dragging these pathetic life forms along with us?” asked Obi-Wan Kenobi very bluntly. This was obviously a bad conversation starter, to which Qui-Gon gave no reply. After a moment’s silence, Binks asked:
“Hey, ho? Where wesa goen?” Binks wanted to know more their destination: the Human city of Theed, a place Binks has heard, but never visited.
“You're the navigator.” was Qui-Gon’s reply, again cutting the conversation short. After another moment’s silence, Obi-Wan asked another blunt question:
“Why were you banished, Jar Jar?”
This isn’t something Binks wanted to talk about, and after a little bit of thinking, he decided to simply say:
“Tis a long tale, buta small part wawdabe mesa... ooooh...aaaa..... clumsy.”
“They banished you because you're clumsy?” Asked Obi-Wan again, insisting to follow up this line of questioning, to which Binks gave no further reply.
The conversation was obviously not working out. Silence pervaded in the small crowded bongo. Binks switched on the Bongo’s search lights, so that at least they could pass the time by admiring the underwater view.
As they closed in on the planet’s core, search lights would soon be a necessity. Dangerous creatures dwell in these deep waters, and while lights may attract the medium sized predators, the most dangerous Behemoths of the Deep are insensitive to light. However, it is much better actually knowing whether there are dangers nearby than to go on blind, because the Bongo does have enough maneuverability to avoid dangerous creatures. The keys to survival would be constant alert, and having good piloting skills.
It is not long before a medium sized creature (around 4 times the size of the Bongo is considered medium sized) caught sight of the Bongo. Binks started to become nervous. These are the same waters where his parents lost their lives.
“Just relax, the Force will guide us...” said Qui-Gon, breaking the silence, and trying to calm their pilot down.
“Ooooh, maxibig...’da Force’ is...Wellen, dat smells stinkowiff.” Binks was not amused by Qui-Gon’s religious blessing. Few of the Gungans have even heard about the Force.
After a few sharp turns, the medium predator got hold of the Bongo in its jaws. If their ship is disabled, they will no doubt perish in the deep waters. However, before the predator’s Jaws could do extensive damage, it was suddenly released. Revealed to trio was the Behemoth of the Deep, the apex predator of Naboo’s ocean core, and in its mouth lies the hapless body of the medium predator.
Although mostly functional, the Bongo began losing power after the bite it received. The crew of three had to begin emergency repairs in this hostile environment. Search lights had to be deactivated during the repairs.
After some time, their bongo was fully operational again, but as they flicked their lights back on, another medium predator was right in front of them, the type sensitive to light. Being too close to maneuver, Binks thought that this would be their end.
Yet again, the Behemoth of the Deep appeared, and with a powerful thrust, it tore the medium predator right in half, leaving Binks and his two friends free to go.
“There's always a bigger fish.” commented Qui-Gon humorously.
It would appear that there is balance in the universe after all. The gods are indeed fair. While one god would guide the Behemoth to take away Binks parents, another god has guided the same Behemoth to save Binks and his friends twice.
Having passed through the dangerous planet core, the rest of their journey to Theed was very safe, albeit boring, with the trio still being unable to start any interesting conversations.
It wasn’t long before the Bongo emerged in a river that ran through the city of Theed, the human capital of Naboo.
----
[To my fellow bloggers: I’m sorry that my story is still incomplete. I have already exceeded our 3000 word quota, and yet, I am not even half way through. I know it’s not very nice to leave you with half a story, so I’ll summarize what I have planned in my outline. This rewrite still follows the basic story of the Star Wars movies, with the twists being mostly in the details]
Theed
Binks, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Obi-Wan Kenobi arrive in Theed. Binks is amazed at how advanced the human city is. They rescue Queen Padme Amidala from droid army, and try to get off the planet to find help.
Binks, for the first time in his life, encounters a starship: a bongo used for travelling in space from planet to planet at speeds that are faster than light; the one piece of technology that makes colonization of the entire galaxy possible, a technology the Gungans do not have.
----
Tatooine
Having had their starship damaged, Binks, Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padme Amidala, and her entourage are forced to seek help on the nearby planet of Tatooine.
Binks learns that for all the powers of the Galactic Republic, not all humans lead the prosperous lives of the city of Theed.
----
Coruscant
After befriending Anakin Skywalker, Binks and company reach their finals destination: Coruscant, hoping that they at last will find help for Naboo.
Binks is truly amazed by the industrial wonders of Coruscant, and its econimic prowess. The entire planet is covered by one big city, with countless skyscrapers that indeed reached the clouds.
However, their journey was futile: the republic could provide no help for Naboo. Binks and company must now return to Naboo empty handed.
----
Naboo
Naboo now suffers complete occupation by the droids army. The Trade Federation also found out about the location of Otoh Gunga, and the Gungan city is now abandoned.
Binks knew where the Gungans would go to seek refuge, and once again took the humans to see Boss Nass.
Already, Boss Nass has mobilized the Gungans for war against the droid army so that the Gungons may have a chance at survival. However, even a victory against the droids would be for nothing if the humans of Naboo still continued to complete oppress the Gungan.
Binks, bringing Queen Padme Amidala to Boss Nass, brought some insurance of future diplomatic relations, and also the promise of some human forces to fight as allies against the droids.
For this reason, Binks was promoted to the rank of Bombad General, commanding the Gungan Grand army jointly with his friend, General Tarpals.
Nass’ choice of promoting Binks proved instrumental in the following battle. Coordinating the Gungan/Human joint forces by being able to speak both languages, and being one of the few Gungans with field experience dealing with battle droids, Binks fought valiantly, winning the battle for the Gungans and Naboo (and no, Binks is not a bumbling idiot. He proved himself to be a great general.)
----
Aftermath
Having forced the Trade Federation to surrender, and securing much more favourable diplomatic with the humans of Naboo; Binks became a hero of the Gungan.
Not long after, Binks married a beautiful Gungan named Fassa, a niece of Boss Nass, and one of the officers under his command during the battle of Naboo. Binks would go on serving his people, representing them in the council Galactic Republic.
----
Epilogue
It might seem befitting that Binks, his fellow Gungans, and their descendants should live happily ever after.
Any person with a some knowledge of Galactic history knows this did not come to pass.
Binks is now remembered as the clumsy senator with a deep accent, who rallied “Dellow Felegates” into giving Chancellor Palpatine absolute power, setting into motion the biggest disaster in Galactic history.
As for the rest of the Gungans, little is remembered of them. They are a people in the Galaxy that no one would ever want to care about.
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