Re-write Draft by Maho

Hi everyone. I've been forgetting about putting my draft in here. Just to let you know, although Im writing about an affair, Im not doing it myself and I haven't also done it ever!


The white cockroach she marry.
The white cockroach she marry.
The white cockroach she buy young man.
The white cockroach she marry.

That’s what I sing everytime I see her. That’s what I sing when I see him. That’s what I sing when I see myself.



I didn’t like that woman since Christophine introduced me to her. A white girl. A pretty girl. Everything I hate. Christophine told me that that girl is a Creole girl. I don’t care. I thought. Something in me, probably from my unconsciousness level, I hated her.

I heard a noise from very close distance and I turned my head. I saw Mr.Ronchester. Lying down next to me, wearing nothing just like me. I smiled at him and he smiled at me. I don’t know how many times of those times he and I’ve been having. I remember that first time was when he asked me for water in the middle of the night. I was awake that day. He and that girl were having a fight. I was awake in the dark and listening to them. Was I enjoying them fighting? I don’t know, but I remember that I didn’t feel bad in my heart to hear it. I heard that the girl threw a bottle at the wall and it broke. Mr. Ronchester came out from the room and I heard him walking around the veranda for a while. Then I heard him screaming ‘’Water!’’. I jumped out from my bed and run for it. I remember his savage movement when I handed him a bottle and he drank them up like he hasn’t drunken anything for all his life. He handed me over a bottle and then he looked at me like a lion. I looked him back. Then he began to kiss me. Was I surprised? Well, I was at the beginning but as our heat went up and up, I felt satisfied. That girl surely could hear us. I suspected that she might come out and slap me in the face, but she didn’t. I tried to imagine what she might be thinking, but I couldn’t imagine and I stopped thinking. I sang the song in my head.


The white cockroach she marry.
The white cockroach she marry.
The white cockroach she buy young man.
The white cockroach she marry.

Seemed like the girl noticed what had happened, but she didn’t tell me a thing. I was ordered by Christophine to bring breakfast for her, so I did. The girl glared at me like she would jump up on me and suffocate me, but she didn’t make a move. Christopine was sitting next to her and talking to her quietly, so no one else would hear them. I saw a glass of rum in her hand and I smiled. It seemed like she was drinking as she wishes to ruin herself. Christophine saw me looking at the girl.

‘’If you did what you had to do, then go, girl! And don’t smile like that when I’m around’’

‘’Yes, Christophine’’ I said and left. As I was leaving the room, I felt fierce look on my back. I knew it was from the girl, but I didn’t care. I went out to the corridor and sang.


The white cockroach she marry.
The white cockroach she marry.
The white cockroach she buy young man.
The white cockroach she marry.



More conflicts I hear from Mr.Ronchester and a girl, more he came to see me at my cabin where I live with other servants. Although I had an individual room, I think they knew what was happening between him and me. Some told me I’m being a thief; some said that I’m being used. Who cares? Don’t’ make me laugh. I won’t allow anyone to use me. I’m enjoying what I’m doing. I’m enjoying that I’m torturing the girl.

I feel sorry for you. Why do you always say that?

He asked me so one night. We were so thirsty, both of us were holding a glass of water. It’s very hot outside and we were feeling even hotter after what we just did. I didn’t reply to him, then he repeated the same question. I signed and turned my back on him. Then he held me from the behind.

Amelie, why do you always say that?

He actually called my name for the first time. I felt something that I didn’t know what it was. Then I turned around to look at him.

Because that’s what I think.

I don’t feel sorry for myself. I have you.

He said. Then he took a glass out of my hand and began to kiss me. I closed my eyes. ‘’I have you’’. I don’t know how I should take that, but it felt good. I don’t know why.



As we met more, it felt more special that now, he calls me by my name. I smiled at him when he does it. Then one day, Christophine called me out. I felt nervous. Everybody’s scared of that woman. She sees through feelings of people. It was impossible to keep secrets from her.

Yes, Christophine.

I came into the room, then she was standing in the middle of the room with her arms crossed on her chest. She gave me a glare and told me to come in, so I did.

‘’Do you know who I just talked to, girl? ‘’

‘’No, I don’t, Christophine. ‘’

‘’It was Antoinette. ‘’

I tried to not to have any face expressions, but I wasn’t sure if I succeeded or not. I didn’t make any comments on what she just said.

‘’Do you know what she was saying? ‘’

‘’No, I don’t, Christophine. ‘’

‘’She was saying that she thinks her husband doesn’t love her anymore. ‘’
‘’She was crying and asked me for help. ‘’

‘’I see‘’

‘’Don’t you have anything to do with it, girl? ‘’

‘’No, I don’t, Christophine.‘’

She looked into my eyes with her brown eyes. Was she trying to read my mind? I wasn’t sure, but I kept looking back at her as if to say ‘’There’s none of your business of what ‘s going on between Mr. Ronchester and me.’’

She didn’t move for a while and neither did I. Then she told me.

‘’Criminals always get what they deserve to have. Do you understand that, girl?’’

What was she trying to say? That I’m a criminal? And I will get punished? I didn’t reply to her. It’s not because I didn’t know what to say. This time, I didn’t like what she said.

‘’Some get away, Christophine’’

I replied. She glared at me even more fiercely.

‘’I don’t like the sound of it, girl. I really don’t’’.

I didn’t reply, but kept looking back at her. Oh I wish I could just tell her to get hang of it. I don’t care if that girl suffers, I even can enjoy it. Mr. Ronchester doesn’t need her any longer. He doesn’t love her anymore. He is mine. He has me.

Then my thoughts stopped.

Is he mine? Has he me??

Christophine was telling me something more, but I couldn’t focus any longer. My mind was filled with confusion that I didn’t even manage to control.

The summer was ending, and now, the Autumn was on it’s way. As the Summer went by, meetings with Mr. Ronchester’ve become more frequent and I knew that the girl was drinking at high pitch every single day. She once threw a bottle of Whiskey at me. It flew on the air, but didn’t hit me in the head. As the bottle broke on the floor, she cried and yelled at me to go away. I quietly cleaned pieces of it and looked at her. She had a nasty angry expression on her face.

‘’He is a betrayer. You are a nasty person. He is a betrayer. He betrayed me with you!’’

Then she began to cry and drank even more from the other bottle. I grinned, but hid my face from her. She was going insane. A real insane. Of course he doesn’t love you anymore.

He is mine.

Then my thoughts stopped again. What did I just think? I quickly cleaned up the floor and left the room, leaving the girl sobbing.